On Springing Forward
Life updates and embracing the season
*orginally posted March 2025*
“Chidi, how did you manage to break free?” That’s what Chimamanda Adichie asked me at her book launch just one day before I lost my job. “You look like you have it together,” she added.
Little did I know, that in less than 24 hours, my world was about to shift and look a whole lot less together.
It has been six weeks since I was laid off from my job of six years working on a mission I held dearly in my twenties - to end violence against women and girls around the world. Everything else has been a whirlwind and a bit jarring and disorienting, but I’m finally feeling the dust begin to settle.
The day before things fell apart, I attended an author talk hosted by Politics & Prose for Chimamanda’s new book Dream Count which explores the interior lives of four African women with their loves, longings, and desires (tbh I’m still struggling to finish it). One of the main characters, Chiamaka, had a boyfriend Darnell who irritated my soul, and I wanted better for my girl. So I submitted this question at the event to ask Chimamanda about why the character Chiamaka was making questionable choices:
Why do women sometimes settle for less than they deserve and how do they break free? (include whatever other gender you like, why does anybody settle, really?)
Her response was clear and direct: Self-sabotage is not love.
It’s funny how the universe, God, and nature conspires. Absurd even. Because the next day I broke free from the 9-5 life, abruptly and not on my own terms. In the weeks that have followed, I’ve whispered to myself quietly “Everything will work out” and “This is happening for me” while navigating interviews, networking calls, and application portals I wasn’t quite mentally prepared for.
Chidi, everything will work out.
It’s been hard, but I’m putting the pieces back together. I am returning to myself.
You see, the cracks were already there. Whispers in the wind. Difficult conversations. Quiet frustrations with a system bigger than me. Juggling a full plate. Feeling miserable and struggling to keep up. The foundations as to why I was doing this work with women and girls and why it once mattered was slowly sinking in quicksand.
I had settled into a job, a life, that no longer fit.
And now that chapter in my life is closed, done, and dusted.
While I’m proud of everything I’ve accomplished, I am moving onwards and taking an important lesson with me: always put yourself first.
Self-sabotage is not love.
Self-respect is.
Self-care is.
I feel as though I’ve experienced all the stages of grief at this point and recognize this loss as one that will take time to heal from while deciding the path ahead of me. Reimagining what is possible.
In this process, I’ve re-discovered my own strength. And I am learning in real time to ask for help - something that used to make me cringe. It’s humbling really. But now, it’s my turn to receive.
Lately, I’ve been focusing on activities that bring me energy and joy - those little glimmers of life. March and April were filled with 5K races, art exhibitions, walks with friends, community hangouts, great music, and a trip abroad that came just at the right time. I’m grateful for the space to breathe and press pause.
This is the season to craft the vision for my life and what comes next, and I am incredibly grateful to have a support system. Folks who remind me of my power through the waves of emotions that come. I will be okay, and all of this temporary. Tudo passa (as I recently learned on a trip to Brazil - more to come later).
It is one’s attitude and fortitude when faced with challenges and even the triumphs of life that determines the outcomes and narrates the script. Treat them all the same. With grace and compassion. And with gentleness towards yourself and the moment at hand. It will pass.
With all my newfound freedom, I’m enjoying the longer sunny days (today was the first 8PM sunset in DC - woohoo) and warm breeze in the air. Seeing the full green buds on the trees, cheery yellow daffodils, and now-gone cherry blossoms remind me that even after the darkest of winters, nature has a way of making room for the light. Nature moves forward with each season offering its lessons - this one is of renewal and rebirth.
I’m taking this lesson as a personal reminder to be present in this season because I’m going to bloom and land on my feet. It really is a wonderful time to build something new. And I plan to do that unapologetically, fully, and joyfully.
Big big love,
Chidi
P.S. If you’re in a season of transition, know that you are not alone. Here are some resources that I’ve found helpful:
I recently listened to a podcast episode on Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson’s podcast with Keke Palmer that inspired and lifted my spirits. Check it out here:
Other writers like Brittney Jansen sharing incredibly helpful tips for navigating periods of transition (Move your body, go outside, lean on your support system, and avoid doomscrolling on LinkedIn):
Replaying Cleo Sol’s discography to guide me. She truly is an example of when an artist honors their gift and allows God to move through them. Every album is proof of that.
Hi Chidi, I truly admire your vulnerability. I know it’s cliche to say but I always believe there is a rainbow after every storm. This change in your life is a set up for something greater for you.
thanks for the mention!! sending you peace and strength in this new chapter 🤍